Whilst controversy over the choice of design and epileptic fit triggering properties continues forensic illustrologists discover a hidden picture within the logo: figures of a man and woman about to have sex.

Professor John Stephens is one of the most respected art and design experts of modern times. He was the one that discovered the Mona in Lisa and that Damien Hirst is a conceptual manifestation of his own in-farts. He is rarely wrong. In a statement released this morning he stated:

“I was right about Mona and Damien and I’m right about this. The London 2012 logo may look crap to most but once you know what you are looking for the true imagery reveals itself: a man with an astonishing erection about to embrace a woman with medium sized breasts.”

Sex act included in the design brief

The London Organising Committee for the Olympic Games refused to comment on Prof. Stephen’s statement but the Free Porn Times was able to talk to one of the 248 designers involved in the £400,000 logo design. She revealed that the hidden sex act was included because it was included in the original brief. Our reporters were able to see and photograph the part of the document aforementioned.

With this hard evidence confirming Prof. Stephen’s suspicions we asked him one further question: why include an x-rated element to represent a family-friendly sporting event. Once again our expert had a very plausible answer:

“Notice how the reference to the sex act in the brief is inserted in the word ‘landmark’? This must have been an error by the author. Perhaps he / she was multi-tasking when writing the document and visiting a site such as Web Cam Cutie or Asian Cam Babes. Yeah.”

We feel, however, that Prof. Stephens is wrong in this case. He couldn’t have known that Lord Sir Sebastian Coe, Chairman of the London Organising Committee and ultimately responsible for this document, was refused entry to last year’s British Wankathon (see: C4 screen masturbation event). Organisers thought that professionals would have an unfair advantage over amateur competitors.

Lord Sir Coe’s hidden agenda

We believe that there is sufficient evidence to speculate that Lord Sir Coe’s hidden agenda is to replace traditional disciplines with competitions involving sexually perverted acts such as the Wankathon, an event he is very keen to participate and win gold in.

Logo did not cause epileptic fits

The 22 people who were thought to have suffered epileptic fits when viewing an animated version of the logo (see: Epilepsy fears over 2012 footage) have released a joint statement denying this was the case — “The logo looked so shit that it made us barf.”

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