Fella is having problems with premature ejaculation, so he goes to see his doctor. Doc says, “When you feel the urge to ejaculate, do something to startle yourself. That will distract you enough that the urge will pass.”

The guy buys a starter’s pistol and some blanks, then heads for home. By chance he finds his wife nude, in bed waiting for him. They get down to business and are in the “69” position when he suddenly gets the urge. He picks up the pistol and fires a shot. The next day he goes back to see the doctor, who asks, “How did it go?”

The guy says, “Not very well. When I fired the pistol, my wife peed in my face, bit three inches off my penis and my neighbor came out of the closet with his hands raised.”