Scientific history us being re-written. Scientists have disproved the theory that the cause of a person’s red hair is overeating of carrots. Instead, red hair is the direct result of the act of sucking one’s big toe.

However, the scientific community is warning people not to experiment in sucking other people’s toes as a recent link has been made between this activity and a human form of foot-and-mouth disease, as reported in issue 62 of this respectable publication.

If anything, this discovery will enable companies to determine if their prospective employees are toe suckers. Unless wigs are worn.